Tag Archives: counseling

President Hinckley on counselors


My friend and newly called counselor shared this talk from President Hinckley in 1990:

(https://www.lds.org/general-conference/1990/10/in-counsellors-there-is-safety?lang=eng)

There are several cardinal principles with reference to counselors. In the first place, the presiding officer selects his own counselors. They are not chosen by others and forced upon him. However, it is necessary in most circumstances that his selections be approved by higher authority. For instance, in the organization of a stake, which occurs under direction of a General Authority, a president is carefully and prayerfully chosen. He is then asked to nominate men to serve as his counselors, and it is expected that the General Authority will approve the selection before the men are interviewed.

It is imperative that the president himself select his counselors because theirs must be a compatible relationship. He must have absolute confidence in them. They must have confidence in him. They must work together in a spirit of mutual trust and respect. The counselors are not the president. In certain circumstances, they may act in his behalf, but this is a delegated authority. What, then, are some of the duties of a counselor?

He is an assistant to his president. Regardless of the organization, the assignment of president is a heavy and burdensome one. Even for the deacons quorum president, if he performs his duty well, there is much of responsibility, for he is accountable for the activity and well-being of the boys of his quorum.

As an assistant, the counselor is not the president. He does not assume responsibility and move out ahead of his president.

In presidency meetings, each counselor is free to speak his mind on all issues that come before the presidency. However, it is the prerogative of the president to make the decision, and it is the duty of the counselors to back him in that decision. His decision then becomes their decision, regardless of their previous ideas.

The president, if he is wise, will assign to these chosen assistants particular duties and then leave them free to perform, requiring from them accountability for what happens.

A counselor is a partner. A presidency can be a wonderful relationship, a friendship where three brethren, working unitedly, have a close and satisfying fellowship. With delegation of responsibility, they move independently only to a limited degree. All three, unitedly, have responsibility for the work of the ward, the quorum, the stake, the auxiliary organization, or whatever.

Such a partnership provides a safety valve. The wise writer of Proverbs tells us that “in … counsellors there is safety.” (Prov. 11:14.) When problems arise, when difficult decisions face us, it is wonderful to have those with whom we can talk with confidence and trust.

I recall that as a boy we had our presidency meetings. Our president would present whatever business was before him. We would talk about it. And then we would go forward, having had our discussion, to work to bring about the desired result.

No president in any organization in the Church is likely to go ahead without the assurance that his counselors feel good about the proposed program. A man or woman thinking alone, working alone, arriving at his or her own conclusions, can take action which might prove to be wrong. But when three kneel together in prayer, discuss every aspect of the problem which is before them, and under the impressions of the Spirit reach a united conclusion, then we may have the assurance that the decision is in harmony with the will of the Lord.

I can assure all members of this church that in the First Presidency we follow such a procedure. Even the President of the Church, who is Prophet, Seer, and Revelator, and whose right and responsibility it is to make judgment and direct the course of the Church, invariably consults with his counselors to determine their feelings. If there is a lack of unity, there follows an absence of action. Two counselors, working with a president, preserve a wonderful system of checks and balances. They become a safeguard that is seldom, if ever, in error and affords great strength of leadership.

A counselor is a friend. Presidencies should do more than counsel together. Occasionally, but not to excess, they and their spouses should socialize together. They should be good friends, trusted friends, in a very real sense. The counselors should be concerned for the health and well-being of their president. He should feel free to discuss with them his personal problems, if he has any, with the full assurance that they will hold in the strictest confidence all that is told them.

A counselor is a judge. He is a lesser judge than the president, but he is nonetheless a judge.

In times of disciplinary councils, the three brethren of the bishopric, or the three brethren of the stake presidency, or the three brethren of the presidency of the Church, sit together, discuss matters together, pray together, in the process of reaching a decision. I wish to assure you, my brethren, that I think there is never a judgment rendered until after prayer has been had. Action against a member is too serious a matter to result from the judgment of men alone, and particularly of one man alone. There must be the guidance of the Spirit, earnestly sought for and then followed, if there is to be justice.

In some circumstances, a counselor may serve as a proxy for his president. The power of proxy must be granted by the president, and it must never be abused by the counselor. The work must go forward notwithstanding absences of the president for reasons of illness, employment, or other factors beyond his control. In these circumstances, and in the interest of the work, the president should give his counselors authority to act with full confidence, he having trained them as they have served together as a bishopric or presidency.

It may not be easy to be a counselor. President J. Reuben Clark, Jr., who, as a counselor, had responsibility for the operation of the Church while President Heber J. Grant was ill, said to me on one occasion, “It is difficult to have responsibility without authority.”

He was saying, in effect, that he had to move forward in handling those duties which ordinarily devolve upon the President, but while doing so, he did not have the authority of the President.

I came to understand that situation in a very real way. If I may share with you some personal feelings: During the time that President Kimball was ill, President Tanner’s health failed and he passed away. President Romney was called as First Counselor, and I as Second Counselor to President Kimball. Then President Romney became ill, thus leaving to me an almost overwhelming burden of responsibility. I counseled frequently with my Brethren of the Twelve, and I cannot say enough of appreciation to them for their understanding and for the wisdom of their judgment. In matters where there was a well-established policy, we moved forward. But no new policy was announced or implemented, and no significant practice was altered without sitting down with President Kimball and laying the matter before him and receiving his full consent and full approval.

In such circumstances when I would go to visit him, I always took a secretary who kept a detailed record of the conversation. I can assure you, my beloved brethren, that I never knowingly moved ahead of my file leader, that I never had any desire to move out ahead of him in Church policy or instruction. I knew that he was the appointed Prophet of the Lord in that day. Even though I, too, had been sustained as a prophet, seer, and revelator, along with my Brethren of the Twelve, I knew also that none of us was the President of the Church. I knew that the Lord prolonged the life of President Kimball for purposes known to the Lord, and I had perfect faith that this prolonging of life was for a reason under the wisdom of Him who has greater wisdom than any man.


“Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings”


Alma 37:37 says:  “Counsel with the Lord in all thy doings, and he will direct thee for good.”

I have thought a lot about those words, and what it means to “counsel” with the Lord. A conversation with me about this would only really make sense if the other person had read Elder Ballard’s book Counseling with our Councils. In summary, at least, a council is made up of a president, who is responsible in the end for the decision, and counselors, who give the president counsel about particular issues and questions. But a council can only function properly if president and counselors are praying for the Spirit, and, if everyone understands their roles. The counselors need to counsel. They need to share their thoughts, feelings, concerns, ideas, etc. with the president. The president needs to listen to all of those concerns, ask specific questions, etc., and feel where the Spirit is guiding. The  president has the granted rights to receive revelation for the council, but the counselors need to realize that their counsel is also given via the Holy Ghost. (And all of this of course pertains whether the counselors or the president is female or male.)

It’s a bit like the body. The brain makes decisions on how to use the body. But the brain can’t tell the hand to move away from the hot stove unless the hand feels the heat and sends the message up to the brain that there is pain! Then the brain can quickly tell the hand to move away from the stove. Etc. Everyplace in our body there are nerves sending messages up to our brain. That information is then used to make a decision.

It’s of course different when we are talking about a group of people instead of a group of organs, appendages, etc. But the imagery helps me to think about councils, as they are supposed to work.

When Alma says we are to counsel with the Lord, what does he mean, exactly? Are we the president or the counselor in this situation? Do we “counsel with,” in that we ask God for His input? And then He will “direct us” for good, meaning, He will give you really good counsel? Or are we the counselor, and God is the president? If that is the case, I see that we would go to God with all of our thoughts, feelings, concerns, and ideas. Then we would trust God to take those into consideration and return with a decision or direction for us to go. Councils are meant to bring everyone to unity (but not because it’s democratic or not because they all discuss until everyone thinks the same). Councils allow everyone to share all that they feel is important or concerning, but then after that they can trust that their president will receive the necessary spiritual guidance to know what to do next. When that trust is there, the whole council can get behind the direction and move forward in unity. But, as I understand Elder Ballard, the words of the counselors – according to their full honesty of what they think they need to say – is necessary in order for the president to really receive revelation on how to proceed.

If we apply that to us and God, what exactly are we saying here? Are we saying that in order for God to direct us, He first wants us to share all of our thoughts, feelings, concerns, and ideas? I think so, actually! I think when I am honest to share all that feels important to me, it is much much easier to feel God directing me on what to do next. And we read of God having a council in heaven, right? Perhaps God will always be wanting us to share with Him our thoughts and ideas, and then giving us direction on how to proceed in the salvation of others.

Counsel with the Lord – it’s not totally up to you to make all decisions, nor is it appropriate to wait all the time for God to command in all things. You counsel together. Work, study, research, think, be concerned, etc. Then tell God all about it and allow Him to “direct thee for good.” A pattern – I think – that works forever.

Note: I also find that working, studying, etc. and then sharing it with God is also what I understand consecration to be. I work and then give up that work to God, who then decides what to do with it and how to direct me next (what stewardship to give to me). When I do this and trust Him, I know that if it is important God will give me that direction, and when it comes it feels like a true gift from Him to me. (Yay! Grace and Consecration!)